apparently it’s weird but i just want to live alone in a tiny apartment with a fancy laptop above a bookshop/bakery with comfy couches and just spend my life reading books and eating pastries.
(via emeraldscales)
Graduation. Moving on.
I had to do more research because this blew my mind. I found this article on Crack.com
One of the defining silver screen sex symbols, Rita Hayworth was born with the much less American-sounding name, Margarita Carmen Cansino.
She was raised in a Spanish dance family, and spent much of her childhood dancing in bars (see? It’s totally a legitimate way to raise a kid.) After Hayworth, er, Cansino’s father moved the family to Hollywood, the 16-year-old signed with Fox studios. She tried a few minor roles, but never got her big break. Fox studios decided not to renew her option.
The Metamorphosis:
Columbia Pictures came along and, not being much for political correctness, pretty much told Cansino that her lack of success was due to her being way too Spanish-y. So, Cansino agreed to go along with a few surgical processes, such as:
A. Painful Hairline Electrolysis
Cansino had a low hairline, which pegged her as a Latina. This is the same discrimination which kept Vega out of the World Warrior tournament, until he wore a mask to conceal his hairline.
Cansino submitted to getting electric shocks to kill her follicles and stop them from growing. Keep in mind this is the 1930s, when “anaesthesiology” usually meant “stroking your hand while you chugged from a flask of bourbon.” Next time you have a hot hair curler or a live wire, poke yourself in the forehead with it several hundred times. Now you’re as pretty as Rita Hayworth… well, not yet, you still need some…
B. Skin Lightening
Now that you’ve got fresh shock marks on your forehead, scrub them with this bleach solution. That’s exactly what Cansino did, all over her entire body. Skin lightening is a dangerously unregulated practice even now, but it was significantly worse 70 years ago. But, Cansino wasn’t done yet, before she signed with Columbia, she also had to have a…
C. Hair Color and Name Change
Carmen Cansino became Rita Hayworth. Her dark hair was died auburn. The transformation complete, Rita Hayworth now looked Saltine enough for Columbia:
Not five years before, the young immigrant’s daughter was dancing in smoky bars for coins. After her “honky-fication,” she became the hottest thing in sanctioned Armed Forces self-pleasure. A picture of her kneeling on a bed in a nightgown sold 5 million copies. Her likeness was fashioned on the side of atomic bombs.
Columbia starred Hayworth in many successful pictures, most notably, Gilda. Rita Hayworth found herself dancing with stars like Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly. Eventually, she settled down and married a prince.
The next time somebody tells you the path to success is “just be yourself,” tell them Rita’s inspirational story. It’s all about skin-bleaching.
Read more: 5 Celebrity Careers Launched by Ethnic Makeovers | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_17501_5-celebrity-careers-launched-by-ethnic-makeovers.html#ixzz1tm0jzRI7
(via god-of--mischief)
FUNKY MONKS: Cross off what you've read (Average read is six)
Pride and Prejudice - Jane AustenThe Lord of the Rings - JRR TolkienJane Eyre - Charlotte BronteHarry Potter series - JK Rowling not all though
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Bible
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Rebecca - Daphne Du MaurierThe Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Middlemarch - George Eliot
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
Bleak House - Charles Dickens
War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Grapes of Wrath - John SteinbeckAlice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
David Copperfield - Charles Dickens Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Emma - Jane Austen
Persuasion - Jane AustenThe Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur GoldenWinnie the Pooh - AA MilneAnimal Farm - George Orwell
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Atonement - Ian McEwan
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Dune - Frank Herbert
Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles DickensBrave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
On The Road - Jack Kerouac
Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Oliver Twist - Charles DickensDracula - Bram Stoker
The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
Ulysses - James Joyce
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
Germinal - Emile Zola
Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession - AS Byatt
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Color Purple - Alice Walker
The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
Charlotte’s Web - EB White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
Watership Down - Richard Adams
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers - Alexandre DumasHamlet - William Shakespeare
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, “Dear Jim: I loved your card.” Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.
(Source: observando, via laced-with-sorrow)
Baby sitting my boss’ son tonight
Tomorrow is my favourite day of the month
// Movie Questions//
Because I get bored when I don’t have work
1. What was the last movie you watched in theaters? The Five Year Engagement
2. What was the first movie you ever remember watching on theaters? Pokemon, the first movie where they gave out mew two cards aha
3. Top 5 movies - The Crow, Heathers, Beetlejuice, The Shawshank Redemption and Mary and Max.
4. Top 5 directors - Tim Burton, Peter Jackson, Hancock, Michael Moore and Adam Elliot.
5. A favorite adapted movie - The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
6. Your best experience on going to the movies - Oh um, The movie previews for the radio station I work for are always pretty fun. But also seeing Breakfast at Tiffany’s with my love was pretty cool.
7. A guilty pleasure - um, I think I enjoy Hugh Grant movies (About a boy, Music and lyrics, Love Actually) more than I should.
8. An overrated movie - There are so many, anything with Sasha Baron Cohen.
9. An underrated movie - Heathers
10. A movie that not many have heard that you’ve seen - I don’t know what other people have heard of. Maybe Helter Skelter.
11. A movie you watched mainly for an actor - Five year engagement
12. Top 5 actors - Johnny Depp, Aiden Turner, Morgan Freeman, David Tennant and Chris Colfer.
13. Top 5 actresses - Zooey Deschanel, Rita Hayworth, Winona Ryder, Helena Bonham Carter and Ellen Page.
14. VHS, DVD or Blu-Ray? Not bothered.
15. Favorite Disney movie (not PIXAR!) - Alice in Wonderland
16. A tearjerker - Oh I cry so easily, The Shawshank Redemption & To Sir, With Love.
17. A movie that you know is bad but you can’t help but love it - I don’t know.
18. Favorite Movie Soundtrack - Sweeney Todd
19. Favorite quote from a movie - “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” - Red, The shawshank Redemption
20. A movie that was better than the book - None that I have seen.
21. First adult film you watched (thematically speaking not R-rated) - I don’t know, Maybe The Ring
22. A kids movie you always watch - UP!
23. Favorite Science Fiction movie - ET…if that counts?
24. Favorite Comedy - Beetlejuice
25. Favorite Fantasy - Lord of the Rings
26. Favorite Love Story - Valentines Day
27. A movie you hate - Borat
28. Favorite animated movie - The Nightmare Before Christmas
29. A movie from your favorite director you didn’t liked - Big Fish
30. Favorite comic book movie - The Dark Knight
31. 3 movies you’re expecting excitedly! - Dark Shadows, Frankenweenie and The Hobbit!
32. A book you read for a movie - The Hobbit
33. Favorite Musical - Phantom of The Opera & Les Miserables
34. Favorite fictional character - Eric Draven
35. A movie you wished they never made
36. Favorite remake - Alice in wonderland
17 and happily taken. Australian vegetarian. Mentally a 90 y/o woman. Tea, Cats, and AFI.
